I finally found some time and put all 4 corners up on blocks. When I started work, all about the 4wd worked as it should, except the 4Hi and 4Lo button never went to light solid on, they kept blinking. With all 4 off the ground, there was not the problem of disengaging as was experienced with all four on the ground. I thought perhaps the spacer the mechanic put in was too thick, hampering disengagement. He had simply put in a standard #2, 7/16" hex nut, standing vertical on one of the hex sides, between the actuator and the shifter fork plunger. I was surprised to learn that with only 1/4" movement of the shifter fork plunger, engagement begins, and it's fully engaged with another 1/8" movement. When I pushed the 4Hi button with the actuator out of the axle, just hanging on the connector, I never saw the actuator extend. Of course I was working alone and wouldn't have seen if it extended momentarily, but I'm thinking that if all were working as intended, the actuator should have stayed fully extended so long as the 4Hi button was depressed. Right? I even tried this with a new actor. It behaved the same.
There must be an intermittent disconnection somewhere. I checked the ground and cleaned ground points 101 & 103 ar the lower, left rear of the engine block. They looked good, but I cleaned them and applied dielectric grease anyway. A meter shows good continuity from actuator connecter ground terminal to engine block. I attached a thinner spacer to the business end of the actuator and put the thing back together. I get no 4WD engagement at all. Oh, I should mention that the front axle driveshaft was responding as it should, depending on the 4WD button pushed, so the switch at the transfer case must be good. I wiggled an jiggled the leads going to the actuator. Nothing different. I'm thinking it's now time to replace the control button module on the dash.